The Person I Want to Be, Not the Person I Am
I’ll be quiet and easygoing. I’ll keep all those hurtful, inappropriate, morally questionable thoughts inside my brain. I won’t say a word unless it needs to be spoken.
I’ll eat only healthy food. I’ll look at that bag of dill pickle potato chips I love so much and sink an imaginary ribbon around my neck for the power of my will. I’ll lose weight. And overall, be a healthier human being. I’ll learn how to cook and enjoy a glass of wine at night as my creative triumph bakes in the oven.
I’ll be clean and polished. I’ll shower every day. There won’t be a flyaway hair on my head. My bed will be made and my face full of light natural makeup. My clothes won’t be high school sweatshirts or hand-me-down t-shirts from my boyfriend.
I’ll look and act like the things everyone tells me my personality so much lacks. Traits I’ve come to admire in other people because I know they are so hideously lacking in myself.
I haven’t found a way to be this other person. Maybe I’ll try again right now. The person I want to be, not the person I am.
